It's Over

There was more help for me out there, if I had just been willing to reach out for it. I thought I was hiding it all so well when one day a friend of mine took me aside and gave me his shrinks phone number. Not just a therapist mind you. A full fledged psychiatrist. I thought no one could see how freaked out I was, but I must have been leaking out all over the place.
In the end, you cannot work part time as a baker, do only 3 real estate deals a year, and keep your house.
When that day came, and another Realtor put their card on my door telling me I had lost my house, and to contact him, it was like this 100 pound rock that I had been carrying around for 2 years was lifted off my shoulders. I could actually breath again. Instead of wondering what was going to happen next, and how was I going to get through the next set of barriers, my course was simple and clear.