What Happened?

It is a rear thing to be invited to join something that you feel in your bones is going to be an amazing success. An invitation to board a rocket ship before it takes off, that is how I felt about joining my manager when she left to start her own company. It was also a chance for me to start again, fresh and new, but with the wisdom of a few years as a Realtor under my belt. I could really correct all those mistakes I made when I was a novice, and build a solid foundation for my career at a new company.
Our timing could not have been worse. I went from 12 to 15 sales a year to 3 or 4, and I was doing all those things I had not done before. I was staying in touch with my sphere of influence. I was working my farm for new prospects. I has started a dining out group, and I had joined a cooking group. I sat in on a business to business networking group.
In the beginning I thought I was not getting business because I was still ramping up. Joining a new company is like starting your career over again, and it takes time before the new deals start up. Gradually it became clear that it was not just the new company, the entire market was changing. No one was looking to buy. Everyone seemed to be retreating, waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Paying my mortgage on just 3 deals a year was not possible, and I started to cannibalize my resources to survive, and I was going to experience some very dark places. Places that are still a part of me today, because once that door is opened, it never truly closes.